A Doorknob?

Wait, actually? A multitude of "magic code thingies that can do stuff," in a doorknob?

Yep. You heard me. A Doorknob? is a bot with quite a lot of commands—most are slightly useful, many are even less so, and some are incoherent. And to be fair, this doorknob is relatively technologically advanced. Unless there's a doorknob out in the world that knows the meaning of life.